From the Home Office in Tenmile, Oregon
This post was originally posted over at my Blog, Memento Moron, back in August. But I feel prompted to repost it due to a comment by one of our Bloggers, who said,
I hate to say it. I love WHERE I was born, raised and currently live... BUT it might be time to start conceiving about (gasp) re-locating. God help us. I didn't want it to ever come to this - so beautiful of an environment, but a government OUT. OF. CONTROL.
It really is depressing. I hope the residents of this state soon take a stand and say, "Enough is enough." I fear the worst.
I understand his feelings, and that's why I came up with this list:
Top Ten Reasons I, a Conservative, Still Live in Oregon:
10. What, leave? I just got back!
9. At least it's not California.
8. Three words: Target Rich Environment
7. Beer strong enough to make even Howard Dean calm down.
6. Patchouli makes excellent mosquito repellant.
5. For sheer comic brilliance, nothing beats watching Kucinich supporters and Nader supporters debate.
4. Plenty of "Free Mumia Benefit Sitar Concert" fliers for the fireplace to keep you warm on those rainy Northwest nights.
3. There's entertainment value in asking the dredlocked Barrista for an "ANWR Crude Oil Latte in a Paper cup made from old growth firs" and watching the look on their face.
2. Spotted Owl tastes like chicken, but with less cholesterol.
1. THIS IS MY BIRTHPLACE AND HOME, BY GOD, AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'LL LET THE FREAKS HAVE IT WITHOUT A FIGHT!!!!!